How Full is Your Bucket?

An essence of the Tom Rath Book

Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket: Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it’s empty, we feel awful.

Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people’s buckets — by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions — we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others’ buckets — by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions — we diminish ourselves.

Like the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic.

But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy, and undermines our will. That’s why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts us. So we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another’s buckets, or we can dip from them. It’s an important choice — one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness.

Method 1: The manager can eliminate almost all of the active disengagement in a workplace if he or she primarily focuses on an employee‘s strengths. If we put enough time into focusing on the strengths of the people around us everyday, it changes the entire environment.

• To put this in perspective, think about the greatest recognition you have ever received in the workplace. Chances are, it caused you to feel better about your organization and, in turn, become more productive. Great recognition and praise can immediately transform a workplace. And just one person can infuse positive emotions into an entire group by filling buckets more frequently.

Discovery 1: Don Clifton, Gallup Head, discovered that our lives are shaped by our interactions with others.

• Studies show that organizational leaders who share positive emotions have workgroups with a more positive mood, enhanced job satisfaction, greater engagement, and improved group performance.

Narrative 1:

One CEO we know, Ken, claims that bucket filling is his “secret weapon” as a leader. He has developed very targeted ways to increase positive emotions in the large organization that he runs. In Ken’s frequent travels around the world, he always stops by his company’s local offices. And he doesn’t visit to hover over his employees or just to meet with upper management. Instead, his primary intent is to energize the people in each workplace.

Bad bosses could increase the risk of stroke by 33%.

Before arriving, Ken recalls successes and achievements he has heard over the past few months involving people in that office.

As soon as he arrives, Ken casually visits with these individuals and congratulates them. He may offer kudos to an employee who recently got married or had a child or praise someone who gave a great presentation. One of his favorite lines is: “I’ve been hearing a lot of good talk behind your back.”

The most enjoyable part for Ken is to “watch the energy move through the network” once he sets it in motion. He realized that he could light up an entire workplace with a few brief — but very energizing — conversations. “I discovered that bucket filling is an extraordinarily powerful leadership strategy,” Ken says. As a result of this approach, thousands look to him for motivation and guidance.

— Where productivity is concerned, it would be better for organizations if people who are overly negative stayed home. When they do show up for work, they are counterproductive.

— Sincere and meaningful bucket filling increases the morale of any organization. Managers and employees who actively spread positive emotions, even in small doses, will see the difference immediately. And creating that difference can be inexpensive — or even free. All it takes is a little initiative.

— 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they’re around positive people.

Gallup Experiment: One Gallup Poll measured parents’ focus on their children’s best grades compared to their focus on their worst grades across multiple countries and cultures. The question posed to parents was: “Your child shows you the following grades: English — A; Social Studies — A; Biology — C; Algebra — F. Which grade deserves the most attention from you?” The vast majority of parents in every country focused on the F. This isn’t to say that parents should ignore the F in Algebra. But why not start with a positive focus on the As before working on strategies for improving the F? If parents at least began these discussions on a more positive note, it could make for a more productive conversation.

— Experiment study of Praise, Criticize and Ignore by Dr. Elizabeth Hurlock

Theory 2:

The Magic Ratio: 5 positive Interaction for every 1 negative interaction. Few moments are this profound, but even less memorable interactions are important. Experts are finding that the frequency of small, positive acts is critical. John Gottman’s pioneering research on marriages suggests there is a “magic ratio” of 5 to 1 — in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Gottman found that marriages are significantly more likely to succeed when the couple‘s interactions are near that 5 to 1 ration of positive to negative. When the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages „cascade to divorce.“

Too much positive emotion? More than 13 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction could decrease productivity. Fredrickson and Losada’s mathematical modeling of positive-to-negative ratios, however, also suggests the existence of an upper limit. Things can worsen if the ratio goes higher than 13 to 1.

— it’s important to note that we don’t recommend ignoring negativity and weakness; positivity must be grounded in reality. A “Pollyanna” approach, in which the negative is completely ignored, can result in a false optimism that is counterproductive — and sometimes downright annoying. There are times when it’s absolutely necessary to correct our mistakes and figure out how to manage our weaknesses.

— Tom Rath had a overflowing bucket, because his parents always supported him in each of his endeavours.

— Making it Personal: The key to great bucket filling:

Recognition is the most appreciated and effective when it is individualized, specific, and deserved. Remember the Susan and Matt with Children photography example. Therefore, focus on the One-Size-Does-Not-Fit-All approach and carry out an UX/EX Approach and learning.

Theory 3:

Individualize, Individualize, Individualize.

The lesson here is clear: If you want people to understand that you value their contributions and that they are important, the recognition and praise you provide must have meaning that is specific to each individual.

Not only is individualized bucket filling more effective in boosting productivity in the workplace, it builds sustainable relationships and changes people’s lives forever.

The 5 Methods for Positive emotions in the Workplace:

Method 1: PREVENT BUCKET DIPPING:

Catch yourself in the act of bucket dipping — then stop it.

Have you poked fun at someone? Touched an insecurity?Blatantly pointed out something that the person does wrong? If so, try and push the „pause“ button in your head next time.

Once you’ve successfully curtailed your own bucket dipping, encourage similar changes among those around you.

Are people in your workgroup or school chronically criticizing or mocking others? Do you ever notice them teaming up and “group dipping” from someone’s bucket? The next time you see bucket dipping in progress, do something about it. Convince others that unwarranted negativity only makes matters worse.

Once you’ve consciously started to eliminate bucket dipping, keep track of your progress by scoring your interactions.

That’s right: Reflect on your last few exchanges with another person. Decide if, overall, each interaction was more positive or negative. Score each one as either a “+” or “-” in your head. Write them down if you need to. Were the majority of those interactions positive or negative?

Now, as you consider what it would take to fill the buckets of your friends, family, coworkers, and others, ask yourself: “What would it take for me to reach that `magic ratio’ of five positive interactions for every one negative interaction that I read about in Chapter Three?

Method 2: SHINE A LIGHT ON WHAT IS RIGHT

Each interaction gives us the chance to shine a light on what is right — and fill a bucket.

Example: The husband wife experience on catching each other doing something right, telling what each one did well and liked about each other. Never underestimate the long-term influence of filling others’ buckets.

According to one expert, these positive emotions create “chains of interpersonal events,” the farreaching results of which you may or may not get to see in person. But they are there and happening. Every time you fill a bucket, you’re setting something in motion.

Instead of making a list of which employees are causing problems, make a list of those who are making a positive difference.

Instead of making a list of which employees have not volunteered for some activity, make a list of those who did.

This might take more time and, at first, seem less direct. But the truth is, it gives reinforcement to employees who did something right. The employees who are always on time, helping out across roles, and completing projects above and beyond expectations will be pleased to see themselves recognized. The ones who do not appear on the lists will get the message.

Write Weekly Thank You Notes.

Things happen every week that deserve a thank you. Noticing and taking the time to say “thank you” is a good habit, and this alone will change the culture of the organization.

It may seem simple, and that is the key. If you need help identifying acts that deserve recognition, make notes to yourself throughout the week. Then set aside five minutes on a specific day to write thank you messages.

Notice What People Do Well.

Take time to count, rank, and measure success. Have individuals set goals and track their own achievements. Find ways to reward and recognize their victories. Maintaining a focus on what is going well will fill buckets throughout the organization.

Share the Wealth. Set wages like how they do it with football players in FM19.

Keep an eye out for the bucket fillers in your office. Who is always there to say thank you? Who is your resident cheerleader? Reinforce their goodwill by mirroring their gratitude. If they write notes to others, write a note to them. If they make an effort to say hello to people by name, return the favor. Plugging in to your champions of positive emotion will playto their strength, and the feelings will multiply.”

Keep Track of Your Success using Gain Scores.

What is a gain score?

• A gain score is any measurable improvement you have made. It is something you can count, rank, or rate.

• A gain score helps you track improvement over time.

• A gain score helps you measure whether the investments you are making are congruent with your professional and/or organizational goals.

Gain score examples:

• Better attendance at team meetings

• Fewer formal complaints brought to the manager’s level; employees taking initiative to solve problems”

“Improved culture by a measure of increased volunteers for activities

• Increase in unsolicited client compliments

• Increase in the number of deliberate thank you notes you send and/or receive each month”

POSITIVE IMPACT TEST:

1. I have helped someone in the last 24 hours.

2. I am an exceptionally courteous person.

“3. I like being around positive people.

4. I have praised someone in the last 24 hours.

5. I have developed a knack for making other people feel good.

6. I am more productive when I am around positive people.

7. In the last 24 hours, I have told someone that I cared about her or him.

8. I make it a point to become acquainted with people wherever I go.

9. When I receive recognition, it makes me want to give recognition to someone else.

10. In the last week, I have listened to someone talk through his or her goals and ambitions.

11. I make unhappy people laugh.

12. I make it a point to call each of my associates by the name she or he likes to be called.

13.I notice what my colleagues do at a level of excellence.

14. I always smile at the people I meet.

15. I feel good about giving praise whenever I see good behavior.

METHOD 3: MAKE BEST FRIENDS

Even though the term “best friend” does imply exclusivity, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you should limit yourself to one very close friend.

We would even go as far as to recommend that you have several relationships of the best-friend caliber among your workplace, home, and social circles.

Great relationships lead to a significant increase in life satisfaction. Noted psychologist Ed Diener found that “the happiest people have high-quality social relationships.” On the other hand, Diener and other researchers have found that lonely people suffer psychologically.

Consider some of your best relationships. They were probably formed through an early series of positive interactions. You’re not likely to become good friends with someone if the majority of your initial interactions are negative. Remember this during your first interactions with a new acquaintance.

Start by learning the names of people you see regularly and for each one, make sure you learn the name he or she prefers to be called. Whether you want to build many relationships or just a few deep ones, your best approach is to fill a person’s bucket in your very first interaction. This is a powerful way to initiate new relationships — and to strengthen your existing relationships. In fact, your friendships are unlikely to survive, let alone thrive, without regular bucket filling.

Put this concept to work today. Begin with the most important people in your life. Tell them how important they are to you and why. Don’t assume they already know — even if they do, they’d probably love to hear it anyway. Continue to learn more about what builds them up; be a catalyst for an even more trusting, lasting, and positive relationship.

Listen to your friends with unconditional, positive regard. Support them in their endeavors. Encourage them. Be a mentor, or at least be the person they know they can always go to for a kind word. But don’t stop the process with family and friends. At work, become the person known for noticing when others do a great job. Learn something new about each person you work or interact with. Create positive interactions with acquaintances — even strangers.

Here are some ways to foster a trusting environment:

• Learn the names of everyone you see regularly.

• Take time to sit down and talk with colleagues during lunch or on breaks.

• Discover specific tactics for filling each other’s buckets.

• Challenge your colleagues to team trivia -a fun way to get to know more about each other.

METHOD 4: GIVE UNEXPECTEDLY

According to a Gallup Poll, the vast majority of people prefer gifts that are unexpected. Expected gifts do fill our buckets, but for some reason, receiving things unexpectedly fills our buckets just a little more. It’s about the element of surprise. And the gift doesn’t have to be anything big to be successful. An unexpected gift doesn’t have to be tangible either. It can be a gift of trust or responsibility. Sharing something personal or entrusting a friend with a secret can fill his or her bucket.

Creative Ways to Give Unexpectedly:

• Give “drops” or thank you notes for things you notice or appreciate (a sample drop is provided with this guide).

• Give your time. Spend time with someone who has been asking for your help, attention, or advice.

• Give public praise. Find opportunities other than award ceremonies to praise someone in front of others (but be sure the person likes public praise).

• Give by following through on commitments.

• Give by listening carefully and remembering the things that other people say are important to them. Then act on something they mentioned.

• Give others credit for contributions they made to work, activities, or programs.

• Give to the whole. Recognize a team by pointing out the effect that team members have on others.
• Give what’s already given. Shine a spotlight on positive customer comments by posting them where others can see.

How to Write a Drop:

Drops are handwritten, personal messages written on dropshaped note cards. They’re a simple way to share kind words with others, give unexpectedly, and fill someone’s bucket.

Drops that are not deserved dilute the impact of the drops that are deserved. No one enjoys a hollow compliment. Drops allow you to recognize even the smallest contributions or improvements.

Anyone can give a drop as long as it is individual, specific, and deserved. And everyone can and should be responsible for writing drops.”

METHOD 5: INDIVIDUALIZATION IS KEY FOR MEANINGFUL BUCKET FILLING

DON’T: Do for others what you would like

DO: Do for others what THEY would like

How you like your bucket filled may be very different from how others like theirs filled. It is important to spend time thinking about yourself, what you like, and what others like. Thinking about the specific kind of recognition you prefer may be a new concept for you — and many people. It may take a bit of discussion to begin exploring these ideas, and it may take a bit of individual reflection as well.

The only way you can be sure you are right about what fills other people’s buckets is to ask them. You can certainly watch them and carefully try and decode their behavior, but the only foolproof method is to ask and not assume. Learning about what fills the buckets of the people around you is a powerful way to transform the culture of your team and organization.

The Gallup Recognition Interview:

1. By what name do you like to be called?
2. What are your hobbies or interests that you like to talk about a lot?
3. What increases your positive emotions or “fills your bucket” the most?
4. From whom do you most like to receive recognition or praise?
5. What type of recognition or praise do you like best? Do you like public, private, written, verbal or other kinds of recognition?
6. What form of recognition motivates you the most? Do you like gift certificates, a title for winning a competition , a meaningful note or email or something else?
7. What is the greatest recognition you have ever received?